I miss Sir. I always do though. He stays with me in everything I do. I imagine him behind me watching my every move. I couldn't french inhale. I can now occasionally and I have been practising each time I have a cigarette. In the mirror when I can. I want to get it right for him. We took a drive the other night. He took me to dinner and I had a questionable "mediterranean" salad. Then he spanked me on the way home. Hard. As he was driving. I really liked it. On the way to dinner I took my stockings off, Sir was not happy that he didn't have free access to my cunt. I wore black leather gloves. He instructed me I was to leave them on at all times unless I was eating. He told me to make myself come. I couldn't. It was like there was some sort of invisible barrier. I was very turned on but I just couldn't get there. Sir seemed smugly satisfied. Maybe that was the plan. I didn't mind. For me it's not about my orgasm. If Sir allowed me to have one then all the better, but it just doesn't seem that important to me at this stage. I actually like that it's denied.
We spoke about knifeplay and he had brought a kitchen knife with him. I have a set of knives in my room that are much more seductive, which Sir quickly discovered after we went back to my house. I want to go to his home. I know I won't for a long time, but I long to just see how he lives. I want to know who he is. I can't help but be slightly obsessed with him. I love the control he has over me. I wonder if it's unhealthy sometimes, if this is not right, but I know that's my conditioning speaking. I'm still functioning and going about my everyday life but it's always in the back of my mind. I want to wallow in it. Why should I be afraid of it? I know that this is what I came to the party for, but I will still hold myself in check, and be as measured as I can be, at least just for now.
We lay on the bed and he trailed the knife over my body. So gentle, I wanted it harder but I left that for another time. Gently , gently, as I bared my neck to the blade. I watched as his eyes grew darker as he drew the steel across my skin, not marking it, I wondered if he really wanted to cut me..I'm a little bit curious about that. I was looking at the scalpels at work and thinking how I could teach him how to do it in a sterile manner and maybe he could cut me ever so lightly..I could teach him how to dress it. I know I'm depraved..I don't give a fuck.
Sir wants me to walk around with his cum in mouth, and wear panties soaked in urine. His or mine. girl is a bit concerned about the urine but she will do it. When he was spanking me this is what my mind thought. "Fuck that hurts" "Oh.." And again. And again. It was absolutely exquisite. Sir stayed with me after. He is so good to me. The change in him never ceases to amaze me. He really is a gorgeous man, and so tall and muscular, might I add. He loves karate. His eyes light up when he tells me about it. One more cigarette then bed. Practising ;) He wore the shirt that he was wearing in the picture he sent to me when we first met. Bed now. I'll have to write another time. Tell the story properly. Goodnight Sir.
| You Are In a Fantastic Mood |
 You're confident, focused, and on top of your game. People are attracted to your energy right now. This is the time to go for it - you're likely to get what you want! |
Funny.
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